Detonation Of A Gen X-er

Recently a few weeks ago, I experienced an anxiety attack. I had no idea how common these attacks are for people. I have been lightly medicated for anxiety throughout the past ten years. I never knew that I would have an attack that would send me into my life flashing before me.

Some might immediately think “she’s being a bit dramatic” with the above statement. In my case, it was shocking since I hadn’t experienced something like that before in my lifetime. The signs were tightening of my chest, trouble breathing, low BP at 91/52 and heart rate of 131. Disorientation & very confused. As crazy as it sounds, I even got lost driving into work which I’ve driven the same route for over five years now. Thankfully, a coworker noticed something was very wrong with me when I did find my way into the office and got me to the ER as quickly as she could. After the blood work and the EKG were performed, they found that it was an Anxiety attack and pumped me with Xanax.

I’ve always been the strongminded, driven, kick the door down type of person. A few words my past and present managers have used on my performance reviews are: Intense, Determined, Passionate, High Strung, Hell-Bent and a few other words that aren’t so positive. The image below sums up my work personality for the most part LOL

Anyway, Life taught me that day that I’m not so tough and that I had a mental volcano that erupted big time.

Long story short, I had a therapy session. I’m also on a new medication. It’s as if I have a new look on life and I see things so differently and clearly now. Everything, I mean EVERYTHING looks so beautiful to me now. I am finding this inner peace. Did I have a midlife crisis? Was it a menopausal moment? Is this what Gen-X life is like? I’m attempting to live calmly and release stress, thoughts, feelings now. I’ve always been raised to bury emotions/feelings and how we’re supposed to be perfect and not talk about anything that bothers you as it shows weakness.

Today this is what peace looks like to me in my mind…

I’ll start closing this up now… I would love it if you share with me what peace looks like for you?

Have you ever experienced a Panic or Anxiety attack?

If you did experience an attack, what did you do for it and how are you feeling now? What worked for you?

Let me know your thoughts and let’s connect and be positive for each other? You can use my blog for venting or just chatting about life. I’m here for it!